Why do I do this to myself?
I’m under so much emotional stress that it’s rediculous. I’m just a sack of jealous ball sack with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. All I really want is love. I just want to feel it, I want to cherish it. I want something that I know feels right but my shyness and silence keep me from breaking through.
I’m like shit, I think I fucked it up. I can see it in her demeanor. Maybe it’s me? Maybe I don’t show enough or maybe she’s moved on. I can’t keep living life as if shits going to get handed to me. I’m tired of running and talking myself in circles just to get myself to shut up.
I feel so lonely it’s exhausting. I just don’t understand how people just move from one another, I just don’t get it. I don’t feel right even being this person anymore but I have to do it. I have to live out what’s been bestowed in front of me in order to succeed. But my problem is how do I do that? I’ve been given no tools to help either.