I saw her again today.
She asked how my rap music was going and I told her I got a lot of new music on the way. Then she asked about my job which I’m still trying to figure out how she knows about it. (Not because I don’t have a job because I do but specifically where I work) Of course I told her I hate it.
“Well I hope its temporary.”
Oh it very well is.
I’ve told myself at least 100 times within the first month of 2018 that I will blow up this year. I’ve sat back and watched many new young artist pop up out of the wood works with either hella wack music or something that’s a work of art. I believe that what I create is more than work of art but simply masterpieces. This year the world will hear the sound that has been brewing inside of a four cornered garage in the ghetto.
Something recently that has been bothering me is how I am constructing my music. For some reason I’m always concerned about what people will think of me once they hear the word NIGGA 20 times in a row. I kinda get afraid to even write certain words which slows down my workflow. All in all, I can’t let that be a distraction due to the fact that I can say what I feel is right since these are my stories. Nobody else is writing them for me, BUT Me.
I keep asking myself over and over again why on earth do I continue this journey into music. I really enjoy rapping and producing beats but sometimes I feel silly for even chasing this dream. I feel alone sometimes when I’m in my Father’s garage pressing Record over and over again trying to pronounce a word correctly. At the sametime, sitting there with my loneliness is this sense of comfort. Not just any type of comfort but comfort that reminds me that I am where I need to be. I’m a worry wart so I’m always going back in forth in my mind on what I should be doing and how I should be doing things based off of what others consider to be true or false.
Is this how I should live life?
But for me to make my life into what I can see in my head I have to keep pushing like I have for the past 10 years on my skateboard and prove to the world that I’m not just another nigga in the hood that wants to be a rapper. Just plainly I’m not another nigga from the hood. I remember my buddy Daimont telling me that his tried his whole life to not talk like a nigga. If you talk to him now you’ll never think that he grew up in Newburg. If you talk to any of my homies (Besides Mack) you would think we grew up in the suburbs.
We’re something like the ghetto Odd Future. haha
As the second month of February slowly comes to an end, I’ve amped myself up with good vibes and good beats. All I need right now is a few crazy experiences and we’re off into space like Elon Musk.
~ keep it all smiles