exploding rock™

welcome to my little home on the internet

  • dreams

    Ever since I was a child I’ve had many dreams that I chased. G.I.Joe was a staple in my early childhood and it made me want to join the armed forces. To be honest, I just wanted to be like Snake-Eyes but as I got older I realized that all that goofy shit was just a fantasy and that becoming a super soldier meant strict discipline and sleepless nights hiding my true identity, traits I did not carry. During that time I wanted to be a cartoonist. Cartoons were the world to me growing up and to this day still something I find myself gravitating towards. I used to have a comic called “Somewhere in the ghetto.” It wasn’t funny at all but it was a little piece of me drifting out in the art world. I don’t know why but cartoons slowly drifted out of my life and skateboarding took over my entire life. I still drew cartoons, but I wanted to become a professional skateboarder. I started skating seriously at age 12 and by the time I was 15 my eyes were set on turning pro, or at least becoming sponsored before I graduated high school. All while this was going on I had another dream, I was going to become a mechanic. I specifically attended a school to learn how to work on cars which only lasted for 2 years. Why so short? Oh because money was waved in front of a poor teenager from newburg and I found myself months later after my Junior year of high school working at UPS.

    Four dreams, four missions, four goals, all down the drain as I turned towards a life full of boxes, dust, and airplanes.

    What do all those dreams have in common though? I could travel. The Army would have stationed me overseas somewhere. Skateboarding would allow me to travel with a team to other countries to film video parts. Cartoons would have given me the opportunity to work for different publishers, relocating, or doing signings for fans. Being a mechanic would have opened the door to many avenues that would have placed me in garages around the US or world if I got on a racing team. All I wanted to do was travel, yet here I am with my parents making rap music in my fathers garage.

    Now here we are, sitting on my last dream. Sitting with the very last thing that I am good at. All the things I’ve done in life I was decent at, but with music I’m actually good. I try to be fake humble but that just makes me look like a dude that lacks confidence in himself. When it comes to this music though, I’m actually the shit. Like I am reeeeally good at creating raps and sometimes I can make a dope beat. I don’t know what comes after this other than just continuing my career at UPS but I have to succeed, I have to win for once. I have to prove that I am the greatest to ever write these poems. I want to go on tour, meet my fans, shake their hands, take photos, hear their stories, skate new cities and experience life through my words.

    My jealousy brought me here. Its brought these thoughts up and I feel really silly writing all of this but its how I feel.

    this is all.

    ~keep it all smiles

  • Insufficient storage

    The year is slowly coming to a close and I would like to take some time to reflect on the year. A lot of things have happened that I am grateful for and there are some things that I wish didn’t happen. Life is a butterfly effect and the things we do daily mold and shape the future we will eventually walk down.

    I joined full time management at UPS in Dec of 2024 and tomorrow (Dec 15) marks a full year in this position. The journey has been interesting as I have been trying to navigate the different avenues presented to me. When people say learning curve I laugh because I’ve been on a learning rollercoaster, going up and down, sometimes sideways. Regardless though, I have had fun and made relationships that wouldn’t have occurred had I gotten promoted.

    Aside from becoming a “big time boss,” I’ve really put my foot forward in the music scene. This year I’ve done 5 shows over the summer and have really found my shtick when it comes to stage presence. Nervousness still strikes me before I step on the stage but once I lower my shades I’m a different man in an entirely different universe. Oh and the music… Man I’ve made some of the best music and it just keeps getting better. If I’m being honest, my development as an artist has grown substantially and I can only hope that I can grow stronger as I battle AI haha.

    One thing that I learned though is that AI isn’t going to kill skateboarding. I mean it can try and I’m sure there will be a point where AI skate videos will be a thing, but street skating and the credibility a person gets for landing a difficult trick at a particular spot goes a long way. I watched Chris Joslins new “G-MA” part a few days ago and after 8 years he finally did a tre flip down El Toro. For those of you that don’t know what El Toro is, imagine the biggest stair set you have ever seen times 3. I guess I could drop a photo but I’ll let you Google this one.

    All in all, skating has been really fun and just the art of creativity has been flowing here lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m in my 30s seeking acceptance from my peers or acknowledgement from the universe, but I feel like I’m on the battlefield seeking victory in an Everlong war. Whatever this desire is, I plan to conquer it and move right along because as we all know, death is around the corner. If I stop now will I be proud or just depressed? Am I reflecting or resenting my own stress?

    Happy holidays and remember, the year isn’t over just yet!

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • When I blow up, I’ma act like I know everybody.

    The blueprint has been laid before me. It is time for my winter arc story. On the other end I will come out smarter, stronger, brighter, and with just a few more dollars than before. The difference? I will have garnered all of this on my own with out the assistance of an employer.

    I’m grown now. I finally realize what my father was trying to tell me my entire life. He just wasn’t that good at trying to explain it. Now I’m just trying to work on myself and build of that courage to come face to face with him so we can grow together.

    With the way this world works, its unfair we have to find a means to make a “living.” Truthfully we should just be able to live freely off the land and be happy. Of course we’re human with the ability to create so after centuries of building societies and structures, we have come to this.

    I’m rambling and nothing makes sense but know this, when my times comes to win, I’ll be creating a new way of life for future generations.

  • I deserve an AA for this one

    I suck at planning. I really do. If I would’ve planned things right I could’ve been going down to Lexington today to see John Cena. Maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for me to go but the fact is, I could’ve drew a good hand and made some shit happen. Now I gotta watch Friday Night Smackdown from home and while on my way to work. That’s nothing new to me, I’ve been doing it weekly since I purchased youtube tv 3 years ago. Wrestling has consumed my life like it once did when I was in Middle school and quite frankly, I love it. But if there is one thing I would change right now about my life, its my sense of time and organization. If I had that shit together I would be getting sooo much more shit done. It’s such a hassle when I’m always trying to get some shit together last minute, but I like the spontaneity of it. I remember my ex girlfriend being big on that shit, the whole spontaneous thing that is. I just do shit when I feel like and with no regrets, I mean that’s how we should live life right?

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • Vanlife sounds so satisfying right now.

    Besides my main goal of becoming a successful hip hop mogul, I want to get into vanlife. Even if its only on the weekends. I watch tons of videos online about vanlife and it intrigues me more and more each time I tune into some of my favorite channels. Right now I’m watching “My Names Teo,” Formally known as winterisblue. He has a simple van setup (one that I critiqued super hard during his build), but it works for him and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.

    I myself would like to get a Mercedes Sprinter van and convert it myself. I’m not the best at carpentry or anything but a lot of the people that I watch build their own conversions. I just want to hit the road and travel around the US exploring places I haven’t been. My cousin always pokes fun at me about how I don’t go anywhere so I want to take the chance and travel. I don’t have a girlfriend or kids so I think it would be a great idea for me to do. I work a fulltime job and have some other goals I’m currently working on so I would really just commute on the weekends or when I take vacations from work. I’m working towards a financially free life where my turnkey businesses allow me to do as I please while I take care of the ones I love and uplift the lives of others.

    At work the other day while talking to my employees I told them, “I want to wake up and say to myself, What am I gonna do to day? and not what I can.” I understand that not everyone in this world gets what they what but from hard work and hustle you can achieve anything. I don’t know anything about grit, but dammit I’m gonna get some of that shit and make my way to every single checkpoint that life has to offer.

    Also I think it would be cool to be on the road and while I’m camped up for the night, writing a blogpost with photos. Just a thought. Youtube videos would probably be the first route I take but logging into wordpress everyday is much easier. So here’s to my future.

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • Shelter yourself from the rain by standing under a Tree.

    Anybody else enjoy a good storm? Or is it just me?

    One day I purposely went to the park while a thunderstorm was approaching so I could go for a walk in the rain. The clouds were letting down a light sprinkle and I figured once I got to the shady area of the walking trail, the trees would cover me. I never leave the house without an umbrella so I reached into the backseat of my car to grab mine before setting off on my little adventure.

    As I began to walk, the rain started to pick up and the clouds grew darker as if night was approaching. Half way down the trail the rain really started to pour and I felt like I made a stupid decision. Luckily I made it to the shady section of the walking trail where the trees covered a majority of the area and sheltered me from the torrential downpour.

    The park, once silent with only the sounds of chirping birds sounded like the Amazon forest. I’ve never actually been to the Amazon but from national geographic episodes, it sounded pretty doggon close. It felt so relaxing to be standing in the middle of all the rain, watching streams of water splash onto the leaves. I stood there firmly holding my umbrella to keep my hair from getting wet, gazing at the field before me. Occasionally I would tilt my head back to look up at the branches swaying in the wind, allowing water to pass through the foliage.

    After a while the sky started to brighten up again and the rain slowly tapered off. I began my trek back up the trail and to my surprise, ran into an old friend. Lance “The Tornado” Lawrence was near the parking area doing some stretches with his training buddies and recognized me from afar. We caught up for a split second before we parted ways so he could do his work outs. I on the other hand went on about my walk as the sun basked me with its warmth. I didn’t walk long though, only to my car so I could drive home lol. It was a good day.

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • Stuck in the Void

    I stopped trying to learn how to code again.

    At this point I think I need to go ahead and take this L. I’m not sure if I’m cut out to be a programmer. Originally I embarked on this programming journey back in 2019 with Code Louisville. I barely made it through the course and when the next semester came, I didn’t sign up to continue. Fast forward to the summer of 2024 and I again tried to learn programming. This time I told myself I would stick with a particular language like Python. As I began to relearn everything I once knew, the news of job cuts in the programming sector started to arrive on my front page and my motivation started to wither.

    I have always heard that being a hustler has to run in your DNA. You have to have that grit and that drive. For me? I don’t have any of it. I can go broke tomorrow and won’t have the drive to get back on my feet to make enough money to be stable again. I don’t know if it’s due to laziness or some sort of mental blockage from my previous lifetime but it’s kind of annoying. The only consistency I have in life is through skateboarding and music. But even down those avenues I’ve gotten comfy with where I’m at, only fine tuning small details that I think will stand out if I can deliver the product well enough.

    I want more. I want to succeed. I want to break my cycle of laziness and engross myself in something that makes me feel alive. I want to make better music. I want to skate better. I literally just want to create something that I am capable of and feel fulfilled. Why is this so hard?

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • Did I just blink?

    You know how sometimes you can wake up with a crick in your neck? Well today I woke up with one in my shoulder blade. At least that’s what I think it is. The damn thing has been bothering me all day. I haven’t let the pain stop me from my daily activities. I woke up excited about these “Blink” cameras I ordered from Amazon the night before. Days prior I was standing around my house trying to visualize where I was going to install these cameras. My pops was wondering what I was staring at when I stood at the front of our house with a stern look on my face like I was trying to solve a math equation. I’m poor at math so there’s no way I’m solving that!

    The cameras arrived just before 6PM and I excitedly ran out front to grab them off the front porch. There’s an echo device installed in my mom’s room so when I heard the delivery alert, I made haste to the front door. Installation was fairly easy and I made sure to tape the camera to the wall before committing with the screws. I was sort of in a rush because my dad was about to leave the house for work and wanted me to attach his diabetic meter on his arm. I also had plans to make it by the manga shop before it closed for the evening to pick some books up I ordered.

    Once I got everything squared away I launched the app to see how everything worked. I wasn’t aware of the time limit on the live video feed. You only get 30 seconds of live video before you are presented with a “continue” button on the screen. If you don’t press it, the feed cuts out and you have to reload the video. I don’t think the purpose of these cameras is for you to continuously watch what’s going on outside though. It clearly says it in the name— blink. It all made sense once I clicked on the clips tab and saw the compiled videos of everytime my dad and I appeared in front of the camera. After this realization I came to terms with the product I bought. I had no idea what I was getting into as I bought these cameras on a whim. They were on sale for $89, it was a steal if you ask me. They are also wireless so no cables to mess with. Apparently the blink camera can run for 2 years off fresh batteries. Knowing me, I’ll be the one to put that to the test. I just wonder how they will fair in the winter.

    Since installation I cannot stop checking the live feed. I discovered I can turn on the microphone on my end and talk to whoever is outside. I’m really looking forward to the next door to door salesman who approaches our home so I can tell them off while I’m playing Gran Turismo 7. My phone gets alerts when I have the cameras set to “armed,” which notifies me whenever a person walks by. I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like a fun summer 🌞.

    Ps. It’s 4:24AM and my shoulder still hurts.

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • Nature over Nets

    These days I come and go from my cozy little home on the internet. I settled with this cool vaporwave theme then walked away like I did some shit. I’m probably gonna change it because the text editor is hard on my eyes and reading white letters on a pink background is mad annoying.

    But what’s been up with me? For the most part I’ve just been recording some new songs and taking a walk at the park. I still skateboard but I keep hurting myself so I’m taking it easy to allow my body to heal. So in my absence at the skatepark I have been enjoying nature. The park I frequent is Joe Creason. Recently some private investors made an announcement that they want to build a huge tennis and pickleball complex along with a restaurant and well… that did not bode over well with the community.

    I heard about the development on the news and when I went to the park the next day the community already had signs and pickets in their yards saying “Nature over Nets.” I was pretty happy to see that this was the response from the community given that it was a private firm coming in, talking about how they want to tear up the park to build some shit nobody asked for. I remember when the announcement aired on the news, they had this lady who was a local tennis champion expressing how she was looking forward to the development. It kind of made me upset even though there was this look of joy on her face. I just couldn’t believe that they wanted to tear up such a beautiful park to create private tennis courts that you had to pay for. Not to mention the line of pine trees that they would have had to destroy for the stupid parking lot that was gonna get rid of the little natural habitat area.

    The city held a community meeting that I couldn’t attend because of work, and man did the community show out. Literally hundreds of people pulled up to tell the Mayor and the investors to GTFO. To be honest, they should have known that was gonna happen considering the signage that was ALL OVER THE PLACE. Post I saw on facebook from people made some good points as well. If you are not familiar with the Louisville area or Joe Creason for those that do, it’s literally right across the street from the Zoo. During the noon hours, traffic is terrible with people going to the Zoo or simply taking Trevilian Way to get to Poplar lvl or Newburg Road. So you get the point.

    ALSO! The development plans called for a restaurant. Like what? The whole entire thing was out of pocket and I am extremely glad that Mayor Craig Greenberg agreed to listen to the voices of the community and shut that goofy shit down.

    ~ keep it all smiles

  • I’m trying to learn something new

    In the fall of 2019 I enrolled in Code Louisville with dreams of graduating and becoming a full fledged computer programmer. To say the least, I flunked out and never tried to write code again. What happened? I’m not sure. When I tell people I usually say it’s because I wasn’t in the write head space. At that time I smoked hella weed, cigarettes, and my only ambition in life was to create cool rap music.

    I still have those same rap music ambitions but I’m also 30 with a part time job at UPS. Right now I’m in the process of applying for full time positions because I’m literally broke. Hopefully I can snag one of these jobs and my financial situation will become just a little bit easier. While working towards that goal, I was sitting at home one day thinking to myself, “Why did I give up on programming?” So randomly I got on YouTube and searched up some how to write code videos with hopes of inspiring myself to try it again. I found a helpful video that suggested I check out The Odin Project and Freecodecamp for a no bullshit way of learning code.

    Now here I am, almost 2 weeks in (I originally started writing this post 2 weeks ago btw lol) and I’m kind of back on the road to learning full stack web development. I initially just wanted to learn Python but I think it will look way better on my resume if I can show any future employer that I can write in multiple languages. It’s going to be rough though, I’m not the best when it comes to learning but deep down I know that I am capable of learning this new skill. I proved myself that I could do it with skateboarding and then again with music production. So surely I can hunker down and learn how to write lines of code that can become something.

    What’s great about The Odin Project is that they give you resources and tips on how to learn and unlike all the other courses I tried in the past, the honest truth… You’re not going to learn this in 6 months. Yeah I know, there’s people out there that have but I’m not that kind of person. I will say that I did learn how to make beats in 6 months but that was different, I think I’m musically inclined or at least knew where I wanted to go with that. Programming is a whole new battle field full of new surprises that I have to become accustomed to.

    Now that I have embarked on this journey, I’m also taking time to try and organize my life. I’m using my favorite reminder app Tick Tick to list out what I need to do on a daily basis so I can add some formality to my life. It’s been a goal of mine for a couple years now to keep an agenda or write out a daily plan for my life. I guess it’s never too late to start huh?

    Anyways, lemme get back to trying to fix my life.

    ~ keep it all smiles