Its a little bit after 3AM and here I am quietly typing away my thoughts on a computer that at one point, I would have never dreamed of owning. Its the little things in life that we take for granted though. If I didn’t have this fancy computer I probably would have had a Chromebook or something. Pretty much a little rig that can’t do anything but let me type on it. With my current station, I can create music, edit photos, and so much more awesome stuff!
Thats all besides the point. The point that I am trying to mention is my place in life. I often question it and never give myself an answer because I feel like its diabolical. Its kind of scary to think but I always push that thought off to the side. A lot of times when the topic does pop up is when I’m on top of a roof cleaning a hood with my dad. Its not the best job in the world but its all the old man knows how to do.
I feel and see a lot of lacking in my life. There isn’t a lot there but a bunch of emptiness and cold chilling air that occasionally creeps up your spine. Its all too surreal but like I said earlier, I try not to think about it and go on about my day.
It still bothers me though. I want to know more but I know that knowing will kill me. I still can’t let a small reason stop me as I journey into the mist. It some times makes me sick to my stomach but in the end I always feel better. Kind of like when you throw up. haha!
ill find it soon
~ Keep it all smiles
I read a blog post this morning that Natalie Cole, the daughter of Nat King Cole, passed away the other day. She was only 65. I never really listened to her music but it shocked me because she was one of those people who’s names are automatically placed in your head because their famous. The article reminded me of the time that Michael Jackson passed away. I just remember sitting in my room after popping in his Dangerous album and listening to a man who once was alive. Its a chilling feelings. I noticed something that day though.
I noticed that everyone else in their own type of remembrance was listening to Michael Jackson. It wasn’t that long after that every one was listening to him and it made me wonder what would have happened if he didn’t pass. Would people listen to his music? Would they have bought the collectors edition of his albums or spent all that money to watch “This is it” in theaters? Just a week before he moved on to the next life you couldn’t find anyone jamming to Billie Jean unless they were a Michael Jackson fan.
Hows does this tie in to Natalie’s Death? Well its an example (to me at least) of how we tend to take people for granted. You can’t always tell yourself, “Oh I’ll see Billy tomorrow.” Billy may not be here tomorrow so you should spend time with him now. This life is a very unpredictable as we all know and ever since High School, I’ve seen a lot of people die. Some of them I have never talked to, one of them I kind of knew. I’ve been out of High School for 3 years now so that shows you how unpredictable life can turn out to be.
So the moral of this story is…
Don’t take people for granted. Make the effort to go see someone that way if they do move away, pass away, or anything, you won’t have that shitty little feeling sitting on your chest. Anyways, Rest in Peace to Natalie King Cole.
~ Keep it all smiles
Well guys we did it, another successful year down in the books. Now its time to celebrate and have a good time right? That could be a way to spend the first day of the new year but I would suggest something different. Let me suggest that we take another moment of reflection time and pull together a list of goals that we can complete this year. We have 365 days to build and grow our elves. We are more than what we seem and we should shoot for the stars when it comes to the schematics of this.
The first day of the new year must be the preparation period of which you use to plan and organize. Once the list is complete, hang it in a place where you are shown this list everyday. Day by day accomplish the small steps that lead to the top of each of the task pyramids. But its the new year and I know, we all want to drink and party. Well how about we just all drink and party with some good friends and make a mixtape or something. haha! (We actually did that tonight).
Happy New Years Guys! Hope that you have a splendid year and reach to the highest of mountains to obtain the real life valued gold.
ps. Lets Grow Together
~ Keep it all smiles
In 2011 I wouldn’t have never thought that I would be where I am at today. Like back then I can really say that I had childish thoughts. I mean I was just in high school, I believe it was Junior year. I remember just looking off into the future dreaming of going AM for some skate team. I had it all planned out. But now as I look at everything I guess my heart wasn’t really where I wanted it to be. I really want this, I want to be able to skate any everywhere that I want and actually make a living from it. Maybe its my fear of hitting rails? I don’t know, I don’t mean to sound like a “diva” or anything.
Going back to the top, none of this seems to be real right now. I feel like I had other great plans and ideas. I literally got out of school and went into the world with no aim. I think I should have stuck with writing during the entire time. If I did that I would have gone way further than where I am right now with this. Its just so frustrating, my emotions run amidst a sea of dreadful and uncaring thoughts. I’m twisted in the head. I think thats my reasoning for smoking weed so much now. I have not other way of coping with my insanity. Its so bad, like I have a serious problem.
I can’t say that I will ever try to get this fixed but as far as I see right now? I won’t. I’m sorry for being such a waste to the world. But I regret saying that because this world means nothing to me if it choose’s to look down on me. Theres no need for the pity or the whiny ass “I’m sorrys” I don’t got time for that shit. Just leave me be dammit!
Anyways, thats me just ranting about life. Sorry for the depressing moment.
ps. You know I can’t leave you guys on a sad note. Keep up and stay humble and let the Universe work in your favor. Holla .
~ Keep it all smiles