WWW.

As I grow older I’ve learned that the internet is a really big place. Thanks to cookies and all that other data that websites collect from you, the WORLD WIDE WEB as we know it, now has become small and personal.

I’m not sure how I feel about personalized internet. It used to be that back in the day you could just open internet explorer and read a wide variety of news articles. Now we have feeds like the ones we use on facebook, twitter, and instagram. These feeds do exactly where the name says, IT FEEDS US INFORMATION. But not just anything, it’s all personalized just for your enjoyment.

The internet holds a wealth of knowledge and what blows my mind is how we walk around with these supercomputers in our pockets using them to post Tik Tok videos. Like I’m talking about snapdragon chips and intel processors inside some thin ass plastic and here I am recording myself yelling about some shit that pissed me off the other day.

Personalized internet closes the doors to what we knew as the WORLD WIDE WEB. Its as if the only idea about the internet that we hold dearly too is net neutrality.

The purpose for all of this madness I wrote is the anger I’m starting to feel about the news apps that are installed on my phone. No matter what app I try I’m given multiple categories of different interest. That shits cool and all but I want news that is not directly geared towards my interest. I want news collectively from all sources jumbled into one.

either that or maybe im just trippen.

~ keep it all smiles

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i think im back

Theres this thing I always try to do when I write now.

I remember when I first started blogging the way I would write consisted of a bunch of thoughts, ideas, and random nonsense. To this day I still write the same but I’m always trying to find this one frequency that made me feel like fluid.

I was starting to feel it until MSNBC came back on in the background and disturbed my train of thought with more MASS SHOOTING NEWS. I’m starting to get tired of hearing about this shit. Anybody else out there think that these massacre events are made up? I don’t want to start some drama or any conspiracy theory thinking, but can we all talk about this? Why are “deranged” human beings grabbing guns and murdering people?

AND WHO WROTE THAT SPEECH FOR TRUMP?

The fact of the matter is, I’m trying to reach that wave I like to ride on when I’m cruising away at the keyboard. This same keyboard has gotten me through a little bit of college by the way. Besides that, I want to be a writer again. I want to be that dude that once dreamed of writing up and drawing cartoons. That guy who watches anime and gets lost in another world. I just want reality to slow down for one second so I can get my head on straight enough to focus on what’s important to me and has created the person who brings these words to you.

~ keep it all smiles

saad.01

Running from you because Im scared. I’ve never been able to express myself to you and it’s hard. I want to let you know how I feel. I’ve done nothing more than make a silly song that I don’t even think you took the time to hear. You don’t have the time for me, I get it. But I want more than just a couple minutes.

~ keep it all smiles

I’ve been Blogging for 10 years now

I never thought that I would be a blogger… at least this long.

It was always something I wanted to do because I enjoy writing and was always intrigued with the fact that I can share my opinion online and people will actually read it.

When I was younger I used to want to be a “professional blogger,” which I tried my hardest to accomplish. I think at the time it was mainly because I wanted money, but what fueled my ambition the most was that I had to create the product for the reader.

I was 16 years old when this site was created and my first post dealt with various types of poop. You can read it here. If you didn’t click the link than I will tell you that my first post was basically a list of goofy names given to various pooping scenarios such as “King Poop,” which is that big block of poop that you push out after eating Fourth of July BBQ all day.

From my first post to this one, I have wrote many stories ranging from life experiences, failed relationships, poetry, my opinions on technology, and when I started smoking weed, a category dedicated to my high thoughts.

My original idea behind this site was to create content that would “Explode” in your face and I think I somewhat did that. I haven’t been much of a blogger lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in my Google Keep notes writing rhymes or on ableton live producing music. I can say that I need to pick this back up because the joy of brainstorming to find the write words brightens my day and encourages me to strive for me. (I don’t like any of these words I chose for that last sentence lol)

So here we are, 10 years later at the ripe age of 25. I’m glad I was able to keep up this hobby, even when I lost motivation and wouldn’t even type wordpress.com in my browser. I’m not the best blogger, nor do I consider myself the best writer, but at the end of the day its the fact that I had a goal in my mind and I went after it. I may have not became that famous blogger who got to sit in the house all day typing away at his keyboard, but I did become a better writing in my own way of doing things.

~ keep it all smiles

i just want to be understood

I NEED TO CHANGE.

Anxiety is a bitch. It’s a bitch with a fat wet vagina that lures you in because its safe and comfy. Anxiety dictates the motives and practical lives of people every single day.

But why?

I’m tired of living with this constant fear in my head that continues to dictate how I move about in this world. There’s so much for me to do and so much that I want but I have little drive.

For instant, the other day I went to my local coffee shop for a cup of coffee. I show up late in the day, close to 8pm because I work nights. As the lady was filling my cup, the container ran out, so the large coffee I normally get was only half full. She turned around apologizing saying that she can just charge me half the price or wait for some new coffee to be made. She also added “You look a little busy so…” Of course I didn’t say anything and just accepted the large half full cup of coffee and went on with my day.

Why didn’t I just tell her “Oh it’s fine, no rush, I’ll wait” or just anything that would indicate “HEY I WANT THIS THING FILLED TO THE TOP!” Instead I walked away… fast, to pretend I was busy knowing I wasn’t.

Theres also this girl I like… at the same place. But once again, anxiety rules the day and keeps my mouth closed, letting my voice sound like a mere whisper and having to repeat myself over and over. I mean shit, the woman thought I said I went to go Pee with my friends!

embarrassing.

The only time I am able to conquer anxiety and let who I am shine at the forefront is when I smoke weed, riding my skateboard, or rapping. Other than that, the person who is typing this is hiding behind the finger tips of a growing human waiting for the day he leaves earth with hopes of at least accomplishing something.

~ keep it all smiles

Emotional Wreck. Pt. 1 (deaTh & REbirth)

Challenge accepted but left alone in it’s death.

Have you ever wondered where we travel once we leave? Is it a long road or a long tree…do you heave?

Do the clouds remain the same or do the names change with age?

Theres no one here if you don’t belong so how about a song to fill your ears?

The emptiness of emotions compel the weak mind to contribute what isn’t available.

So what happens when we leave?

Do you know?

I guess time will tell after one or two bullet holes.

tired…

I find it funny how easily someone can drag you into a load of bullshit and pull you out the other end as if you really are a piece of shit. I guess it just all revolves around the people you surround yourself with because at the end of the day, that’s what becomes your life.

~keep it all smiles

Read a MOTHA’FUCKIN Book

Remember that song by lil John that came out around 2005-2006? All he did was yell “READ A BOOK!” Many years later as I reflect on that song those words of wisdom by lil John have inspired me to read… More.

I’ve struggled to keep a consistent schedule reading. I’ll start a book and be happily attached to it for a good month. After 30 days I grow tired and think less about the book and next thing I know I’m back to reading random bullshit online.

What I find crazy is that I can delve into these weird news stories on the internet, take some time to read a page of Lore on ESO, then scroll through countless news feeds trying to correct other people’s grammar. As technology grows and we become more reliant on Search, News Feeds, and Instagram pictures, we lose focus on what technology is really here for, to Aid us.

We have an endless supply of information geared toward us but what AI scripts and algorithms provide us with are articles about stuff we like, but not stuff we should check out… If that makes any sense.

You would think at this point in my life with all these screens in front of me and everyone else in the world, I would read more. Ya know like a book with substance or an educational magazine, yet I stay posted on Facebook and Reddit scrolling away my life as I skim through horribly worded comments and upvotes.

With that said, I’m going to subscribe to Blinkist to train myself to read more. I think my problem stems from anticipating the end of a book and I get overwhelmed and give up on even trying to finish. With Blinkist I’ll get the core facts I want and also read a bite size portion of an entire book.

How great is that?

I’m ghost for now.

~keep it all smiles

Hi Again

Well it’s been sometime since I have shared some of my mind on my little home on the internet. Nothing hasn’t changed other than the fact that I play waaay too much Elder Scrolls Online. I have gotten better at producing and you’ll hear that on the new music I will release later this year.

Other than that I’m signing off and will come back when I got some stories to tell. Can’t keep this place looking dry.