When I get lonely I hop on the internet and look for random social communities to join. From discord to telegram I have made my rounds through the chat servers, talking to strangers and learning about other people who I may never meet.
I remember a few years ago I was in a deep state of depression for a full week. Somehow I stumbled upon a website called recolor, which was this forum where you made a little avatar and when you made post it would pop up as a big bubble next to your character. Lowkey I thought I had found a fun place to hangout on the internet but really the site was just a shithole for immature little kids to drop spam all day. My best friend joined the site and not long after started a roleplay that never really went anywhere. That could possibly be my fault because at some point I started to log in less and less on recolor due to boredom and shit post.
I’m not sure why I go out of my way to find these strange forums and chat rooms when I feel lonely but I always do. Like literally I just downloaded kik for the third time just so I can scour the chatrooms to see if anyone is talking about something interesting. You can learn a lot from strangers but not so much from people on the internet. I find myself lost in the sea of words that 50 other people are posting all at once. It’s usually a tiresome endeavor and whatever forum, app, or site that I signed up for to fill that empty feeling gets thrown away like a rotten vegetable.
Guess I better hop on kik.
~keep it all smiles~
I’m surrounded by strangers whose thoughts concern me only when in doubt. I’ve at some point consumed the drama that brews within this untamed group of individuals and it caused me to lose hope in people.
How are we to be together when all we do is argue and belittle one another? The exchange of words behind another person’s back is just as crippling as a shotgun shell to the face. Why do we do this? Where is the war and what is there to be won?
~keep it all smiles~
I find it funny how easily someone can drag you into a load of bullshit and pull you out the other end as if you really are a piece of shit. I guess it just all revolves around the people you surround yourself with because at the end of the day, that’s what becomes your life.
~keep it all smiles
So I have this friend and we have a strange relationship. Now when I mean friend, I refer to them as just a mere associate all because the relationship is one sided.
It’s sometimes hard for me to grasp how we even have this weird dynamic that works for only so many hours. Once it’s done it’s over with and then we part until the next meeting.
I kinda don’t like it because its one of those things that come about when you’re placed in a situation that stems from the need of a particular item or life style, resulting you to take part in an activity.
None the less, it’s strange that these things just kind of come about but who am I to say what’s wrong and right when we all have the same misconception. Regardless, we wouldn’t even be able to understand it, not to mention the amount of time it would take.
What ever it is, I got to make some serious changes.
~ keep it all smiles
I have an issue.
I’ll go about it plain and simple with a whole lot of extra stuff because that’s how I be.
I want a girlfriend. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I feel lonely, but whatever. I just do. Now having a significant other has been a thought that’s been in my mind ever since I was young. I want to blame it on how we look at humanity and and this whole relationship thing but I really don’t know. The fact of the matter is, I think it’s a humanly thing and right now at the age of 24 thats what has been on my mind. Right now in life I just want to focus on my creativity and let that flourish but I feel like the “wanting” of a “lover” in my world is hindering me.
I cannot fully say that the thought is destroying me because I just turn around and make another song, but when I hear my music it’s all the same bullshit just told differently over beats. I got this weird ass feeling of settlement and wanting to have the rock next to me holding me up. When I stop and look at how I am towards others, I begin to question if I am even ready. Like I’m totally the guy who believes that everything happens for a reason, so I never really tell myself something isn’t going to happen because at the end of the day we don’t know.
Right now I got a crush on a girl though. Haven’t even tried to display the confidence in wanting to get to know her because I’m a wimp. I build up my thoughts and always let the shit crash when there’s nothing else left to be added. That’s what I’ve done at this point. My hopes are very high but for no reason. I bitch out when I want to say anything and the conversation dies. I….. I’m just a fearful human who lets his emotions control how he interacts with other humans.
no point in giving up though.
i got hit by a car in september and i’m still alive.
there is something here on earth for me to accomplish.
i must achieve.
ps. heine bros
pps. .. i need to get a life because seriously, i just skate, rap, and make beats.
~ keep it all smiles
I have really begun to hate the internet. Not becasue some dude on reddit called my blog post “blog spam,” but the fact that the internet house’s more people similar to that ass hole of an individual. Yeah, it was nice to know that you keep you shitty writing on your computer but in the end does it really matter? I mean my article is still sitting on engadget’s Public Access page and it even has two shares meaning that two people understood what the fuck I was talking about.
The internet has been pissing me off since I started using it. I have this serious love hate relationship with this hyperlinked way of interaction. I know that the internet can be used for so much good but then at the same time I always find myself in this situations where I’m being bullied by a bunch of nerds who wouldn’t lay a hand on me in public. The internet gives fuck boys a voice but these same people wildn’ out with their internet antics need to realize that its all a facade.
Complaining about this small issue isn’t going to do much for me, I just figured I would share this story with you folks becasue I know that I am not the only one who gets this type of treatment.
I really don’t like how these videos are made but hell, they have a very strong message in them. During the video you kind of get the impression that they are going to tend to the woman’s racial needs but the captain isn’t having it and moves he black guy up front in the first class.
~ Keep it all smiles