This Doesn’t Feel Deserving at All

I hate taking my break early. I work at part time job where we are guaranteed 3 hours but of course we work more. In my opinion, breaks should be optional.

See before I was taking my break towards the end of the night where I felt like I really needed it. Now our supervisor feels the need to enforce this new rule of taking breaks earlier in the night because we get done “quicker.” Sounds like bullshit to me but whatever.

All I’m saying is, I would really like to take a break more so towards the end of the night instead of 2 and a half hours in. The break doesn’t feel deserving at all. Feels like I’m just bullshitting for 10 minutes and then I come back to play with boxes more.

I can’t wait for the night to be over. 😑

~ keep it all smiles

My Woes Working for UPS

confused black girlThese damn supervisors at work will NOT stop nagging me about joining the dark side. I’m referring to becoming a supervisor, a job that I actually considered when I first switched to night shift. I sincerely felt like becoming a sup at that time in my life would be the best thing ever. Matter of fact, I was close to actually becoming a sup (short for supervisor) until I had this random voice pop in my head saying “Don’t do it.” Ever since then I have been listening to that little voice.

Supervising at UPS doesn’t look like a bad job. Every time I see a sup they’re always jerking off on their phones or conversing with the other supervisors. It looks like an easy job, even they tell me that. But deep down I really don’t want to do it. I’ve been told numerous times that it will look good on a resume, it’s easy, I’d be good at it, and so on. Yeah the promotion sounds nice but is it really for me?

I look at my current job like this. As a part time employee stuffing boxes inside of trucks, I have one foot in the door. Now let’s say I end up changing the crystal in my lightsaber to a red one and go on a power trip as a sup, I now have two feet in the door. With two feet in the door I am now what I like to call “About to get locked behind the fence.” The door behind me may be open but houses usually have rooms, and UPS is big so exploring is a must right? That exploration leads to comfort, something a lot of people in life fall for. You ever wonder why your friend never left their OKay paying job? It’s becasue they are comfortable.

Comfort is something I do not need. I keep trying to explain to these damn people in upper management that taking the road they took is not that enticing to me. I’d rather not fall into that zone of, “Well I’ve worked here this long and I’ve been promoted to the point of where I don’t have to do anything, guess I’ll stay.” That’s what a majority of people say to themselves. They either say that or something similar. The fact is, I don’t want to end up walking to far into UPS. I don’t want to get trapped like all the other people who I have talked to within the hub who tell me about their “career.”

I remember one time when I was on the deice bus headed to the guard shack and this older black dude sparked a quick conversation with me. It all started out with his dogs and his deceased wife and quickled shifted over to how I should stay at UPS and stick with it becasue it “isn’t a job, it’s a career.” You mean to tell me that once I spend 20 years of my life loading boxes and finally become full time that unloading and loading cans into planes is a career? Oh it just doesn’t stop there, full time positions also consist of house keeping. What in the hell do I look like being a janitor inside of UPS? I mean my dad runs a janitorial company, so if I were to do any janitorial work it would be for my father where I know I’ll actually excel.

A life spent at UPS and seeing nothing but boxes isn’t what I intend on doing in life. I was talking to my supervisor last night who was trying to convince me in becoming a supervisor (This had to have been take 400 on me). After I explained my philosophy using the one foot story, he said, “Well you can still work here and do what you want outside of work.” [Insert Confused Black Girl Meme Here] … Yes that is true but the way I see things is along the lines of Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg. You ever wonder why those two men wear the same clothing whenever they are presenting new products or holding developer conferences? Those two extraordinary men practice the ideology of conserving brain power so they can use it for decisions made later on in the day. Albert Einstein has done it and even President Obama.

I’ve taken that same philosophy and applied it on a bigger scale. The less time I spend at work, the more time I get to sit here at my desk on my computer blogging, reading, or coming up with ideas. Why would I want to get promoted at a job which will eventually require me to stay a bit longer, and if I get to comfortable, I’ll spend more time there. Of course I could sacrifice sleep, but being more awake and taking on what you love in life is more pleasing than struggling to keep your eyes open.

To bring us to a closing point, I don’t want to get sucked into the “Hey, we’ll pay for your school if you work here at UPS” trap. I guess I’m kind of in it but like I said, I got one foot in right now as a part time employee who stuffs the miscellaneous items you order on Amazon. It’s just annoying that that these sups at work keep badgering me. I guess I’ll keep hitting my full timer with my “bullshit” philosophy and plot ways to push my other endeavors in life forward.

ps. Mcswain, if you’re reading this, I know that you folks only want me becasue I resemble a black male and would be a good fit for that quota. I don’t want to become a supervisor if that’s all its for. I probably have the qualities to be a great sup but I don’t want to sign up for some bullshit ass position. Last time I did that I ended up loading feeders. Y’all will probably do me like the rest of the black people that have been in the thumb and send them straight to the unload. Like fuck that shit. As Ms Sweet Brown would say, “AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!”

~ Keep it all smiles

Post Work Blog Post

Childish individuls at work

Ahh, good ol UPS. The lights are bright, the smell of jet fuel fills the air, and I’m inside a dusty truck with pieces of wood and torn paper lying on the floor. How exciting is it that I’m here?

Not really. 

Before I come into work I usually sit in my car listening to music trying to bump my mood up. I mostly listen to a lot of high tempo rap songs or some funky bass lines from Thundercat. The music usually gets me going and I no longer have that depressed feeling sitting on my chest. I also try to remind myself that I shouldn’t care about the petty feelings that other depressed Upsers display towards me or the rest of the posi. Delightful right?

Yet again, not really. 

Once I walk in and go through security I usually fall back down the dreadful hole that work places me in. It’s a poor exchange, back breaking work for a crumb of the UPS pie. It’s time for me to act now, which I am, and get the hell out of here. You can’t leave anywhere without a plan. Set goals and go.

That’s what I’m doing.

~ Keep it all smiles

Black Quota

So if you already couldn’t tell by how I formulate my post, I’m black. I consider myself black because well, I got a big afro and look black, but thats besides the point. Being brown in this world has its perks like scholarships and the ability to put words together poetically. There is also a downside to having dark skin though and we all know what that is; racism.

As I have stated many times before in other post I have made on this little webpage I call home, I work at UPS. I’ve referred to the place as under paid slaves and… well thats it (LOL). There have been times where I have really hated my job because of other employees or management, but now I feel like it has taken a turn for the worse.

So what can possibly go wrong inside of a facility that is easily be compared to high school? They want my to join the Dark Side of the force (Yes I know, this isn’t Star Wars but it sounded cool right?). Anyways, I’ve managed to show upper management good quality potential to become a supervisor, something I have mentioned before and now they are relentlessly attacking me to join them. Now I know you’re wondering, “Why are you trippen, you’re getting a promotion at work!.” Yes that is true but I REEEAAALLLYYY don’t want to take up on this off right now.

I’ve looked at this opportunity from every angle.

Angle Number 1. If I go through with everything and become a supervisor I will get better pay, go from laborious work to mental work, and get to go into a nice cool office after the sort and bullshit with the rest of the sups (supervisor for short).

Angle Number 2. With me leaving Posi 3, I am allowing everyone to move up one in seniority.

Angle Number 3. Daimont can be Erics new deice partner and the deice crew will have yet another black guy and white dude driving a big truck causing mayhem out on the ramps.

Angle Number 4. I’m not going to like being in management because damn near all of the supervisors are a bunch of weirdos and now I get shitted on more because I’m closer to the “TOP DOGS.”

Angle Number 5. The way I see things is that, once I become a sup, they’re going to be like “Hey welcome aboard, heres a bunch of problems, fix them.”

Angle Number 6. Management finally can get the best of both worlds, a black guy to reach the quota and one who is not dumb like that bald headed nigga Lavaskey.

Angle Number 7. Go back and read number 4.

Leaving you with that last angle, I don’t want to get any closer to management than I already am. Right now the only person I have to deal with is my part time sup, which they constantly change. The only time I ever see those old heads in the office is when a truck is getting demolished or one of the areas are acting like they don’t know what they’re doing. The less I can see my manager and full timer, the more happier I am. I mean, who really wants someone who has dominion over you there by them all the time?

Also going back to angle number 6, my management team at UPS is trying to reach the black quota. I know they are, its not like they can hide that shit from me. I know they know I’m not stupid. Every time I look in the office I literally see 3 black people. Its always been 3 or 4. Adding me to there team of conformed supervisors would make them look good because now they’re more “diverse.” I see nothing wrong with what they are doing but at the same time they’re being so persistent with getting me to join them.

What makes things worse is that I can’t argue with them because everything I throw at them these people have a counter argument. At this point I don’t know what to do. I thought about just going into a full on nigga mode on them but they would really tarnish my image. I have got to figure out something fast.

I do aspire to be a sup someday but right now I just DO not want to take up on the offer. I simply don’t want it. If I can make these old heads understand that then I’ll be a happy camper.

The struggles of being black.

Art Is Hard…Pt 1

I often ask myself when I am going about my day, “What is life?”

I mean, what am I really doing here? I wake up, take care of my hygiene, get on the computer and then skate. On days I got school, I’ll do some studying and may even knock out my homework but thats it. I am literally doing nothing that makes me feel like I have accomplished something. I used to daydream a lot back in high school of where I would be by the age of 22 or 23. Here I am 20, still living with my parents, have no car, no credit, or anything that can say “Hey, this man is finically stable.” I feel miserable everyday I get up and do shit. The only thing in life that makes me feel complete and content with life is skateboarding. Even with skateboarding I run into problems such as falling or the weather decides to switch up. I still have my family all in my ear saying that I should stop skateboarding and because some sucker ass lawyer but what fun would that be?

The point is, the idea…the dream…the whatever the hell I had when I was younger has fizzled away and I’ve become another product of the lower class society in America. I’m considered a rebel, a kid who has chosen to go against the system and is called a hipster. Yeah, I said it, but I look like a bum so the word Hipster doesn’t even cut it. More like another “nigga” walking the face of this earth. I’ve also come across a shit ton of conclusions, I’ll list them below,

  • I’ve failed at life
  • Have a hard time talking to females
  • My family is against my dreams in life
  • UPS hates my existence = my job sucks
  • and a bunch of other shit I’d rather not name

The shit I’m naming off and complaining about is probably the same bullshit many other young adults are going through. But is it really like this? Are we supposed to suffer and work long strenuous hours, maxing out our mental capacity’s?! And for what?! What I am doing right now that is benefiting me in any way, shape or form? I’m fucking trying man…I’m fucking trying. Every time I turn around my dads in my face about his business, my mom is asking for money, and my sister is being rude to people by not speaking. Why can’t I simply have one good day? One day where I can just skate and come home to a meal and my lady making my favorite pie?

I remember asking my friend Danny what the meaning of life is. He told me that life is a blank canvas and you can paint anything. I thought about it and was like “Wow, I fucking suck at art.”

First Sunday of The New Year

Well I have been keeping up with the weather as usual and this cold spell that we are entering is no joke. The temperatures are dropping well below zero!

I asked my dad the other day if he wanted me to salt the driveway because I would much rather not shovel 3 feet of snow out of the driveway. He told me no, which really has my nerves itching because there is supposed to be a “cold snap” which is going to freeze the rain that has been falling all day. The snow is practically on its way. I’m pretty sure by the time I am finished with this post I’ll start seeing flurries fall. Then I’ll watch those flurries turn into huge snow flakes.

I remember last year how I was really excited for this bad winter. I heard from several people that it was going to be bad but I didn’t know that the temperatures were going to drop like they are going to tonight. The wind chill is supposed to be around -30. This worries me because I am part of UPS’s deice crew and if I end up going into the bucket to spray deice fluid on planes, I will certainly freeze my ass off.

They always say be careful of what you wish for; I wished for a lot of snow and hell, the whole entire east coast its getting a HUGE snow storm.

I wonder if this will be like the snow storm of 94?

ps: I’ll be blogging photos of the winter wonderland later tonight!

I Will

I know I know, I’ve been off and on here lately. So what? Its not like anyone reads my blog anyway.

So I know what you’re thinking, the title sounds great for a poem that has every line starting with “I Will” I’m sorry to tell you this but you are wrong. I’m going to take a little time out of my night to stop and explain what I will do for the rest of this year.

To make this sound professional I will start it off like this…

  • I WILL complete all course assignments in my college classes.

A hard task that is but it is something that I will be doing. For the few of you that do not know, I failed my first semester of college. Everyone was disappointed in me. My girlfriend scolded me, my cousin cursed, I got all sorts of words thrown at me. The only thoughts that came to my head was, “Why didn’t I just drop my failing classes”, and “Why didn’t I try harder?”. I can go on and try to redeem myself and give a bullshit excuse but it won’t cut it. I didn’t apply myself like I should have and just didn’t make time for it. I really wish I would have listened to my family and my encouraging girlfriend to focus on school and get it done. So now I have to start clean with just a few credits under my belt and try my best to get these classes out of the way so I can make room for the next set.

  • I WILL become a better person.

I’m not crazy or anything, I just want to become a better person to society. I feel like society needs someone who can step up in any weather and lead the way. My first goal in to becoming a better person is to do community service. My girlfriend has gone on and on about me not doing community service and how it will make a difference in my life and as well in others. So I’m going to do it, I just have to go online and search up some community service events that are going on in my city. I WILL APPLY MYSELF.

  • I WILL start a small business.

I am sooo TIRED of selfish people at work! I’m not going to go into the full story online but I need to make money on the side so I can work less at UPS. People at work just piss me off. There is so much drama and all people care about is their money. So MY GOAL for the remaining of this year is to start a small window cleaning business. I have experience in it and my “Swirl” is on point! I just feel like I don’t need to depend on someone else to make money. My long term goal in life is to work for myself because being a slave to someone else’s company isn’t what I want to be. Even if its something I enjoy doing I still don’t want someone to have the power to fire me or demote me when they want to and how they want to. I already hate that feeling at UPS. Its ridiculous.

Well folks, that’s all I will do. I plan on skateboarding a whole lot and getting a video together!

ps. It was around this time of the year when I started my blog so HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EXPLODING ROCK!

My Job

So for the past year and a half I’ve been working at this place called UPS.

Yes you all have heard of this place and know that little catch phrase “What can brown do for you?” Do you wanna know what brown has done for me? Stick a pipe up my butt and said “here’s your paycheck for the week”, which is less than $200. Now you may wonder why I’m still here, well thet’re paying for my schooling and well its money. They start you off at a fairly good amount and the raises isn’t much but it gets me by.

Lately my job is just being a pain in the arse. See last year in July I got transferred to night shift so UPS can start paying for my education, cus you know, that’s what they do. With that I got moved to the North Core, Thumb. I got a new supervisor and a bunch of new faces for me to familiarize myself with. Everything was good except for the stupid white guy who was a parole officer (Gosh I hated him!). Things all turned around when I got moved to a new truck and started making friends, my supervisor was becoming a dick and…well that was all.

The man who we call Jesse is my supervisor, he’s fairly new to the whole supervisor thing and has a bad habit of making stupid decisions. There was a point where I would argue with this man just for kicks and watch him struggle for comebacks and answers. Months of this mans madness escalated when we got a new full time supervisor named Donella, who thought that she could use here degree in Psychology or whatever it was to play with our minds and turn our good friend Quinten into our enemy. She tried that mind crap on me one day while it was peak week. I was complaining to my supervisor about how I didn’t like loading this Ohio truck because it would get slammed with tons of boxes. She overheard our conversation and questioned what I was complaining about, I told her my problem then she said “Oh well don’t worry because at the first of the year I’m going to put y’alls names in a hat and make new posi’s. That right there made me mad and had me ranting to the other employees about Donellas plans. She later found out how upset I was about her idea and began to play her mind games.

She approached me while I was busting my arse and asked me why did I do it? At first I was confused at the question she asked me but than I realized she was talking about my hair. I recently gotten a hair cut, I was rocking an afro before than. She asked again why I did it and I told her that I always do it, than she started rambling on about some meaningless bullshit then wants to question me about a drastic change in life. Since I knew that she was trying to play her mind games I played back with telling her a drastic change in life is DEATH, which it truly is. Apparently death in her head isn’t drastic which pissed me off because the death of a loved one will change someones life. I was getting ready to argue with her but a supervisor from the unload pulled her away for questions. At that very moment I was briskly walking away and headed toward the other trucks with my co-workers in them ready to rant about my interaction with the devil.

Donellas madness soon ended at the beginning of the new year, by then we got a new full time supervisor and a new manager, both of which are very relaxed and subtle.

My time at UPS has been one heck of a time. Getting switched to night shift and working with the graves men is really something else. I’m beginning to think that UPS is really hell tho. There’s so much hate and evil that is inside that place. I here ample amounts of stories about asshole supervisors, transvestites  dope heads, crack heads, parole officers, crazy people and so much more.

This is only the beginning, there is much more for me to see and experience and my blog will be the first to here the wacko stories.

Until next time.

The Real World

So for the “people” who keep up with this on going blog, you should know that yes I graduated from High School back in May. I am now attending JCTC (Jefferson Community Technical College). The degree i chose is Graphic Design.

Its been a bitch trying to get into school, I’ve been procrastinating and putting things off…now that I got most of it out of the way the college life isn’t that bad. I’ve met some cool people and plus now that I am working nights at UPS (I meant to blog about that) its been pretty chill. I thought the “Real World” would be a complicated mess…and it has but it wasn’t like what I was expecting.

I mean its hard but I just push through each day like nothing is happening. I still skate, Still got a girlfriend and have been able to do what I want and how I like it. This is just the beginning, I still got a ways to go to really see what this is all about. For now, this is the start of my long and drawn out Story.

Its been a Minute

Whats good world! Its been a while since I talked about something. Last thing I told y’all was that I got a job and UPS and talked a little bit about how much I hate it….I think. But I got some new stories to tell and other stuff you’ll like to read so be looking OUT! HOLLA AT ME!