Can’t believe it but read it

So I have this friend and we have a strange relationship. Now when I mean friend, I refer to them as just a mere associate all because the relationship is one sided.

It’s sometimes hard for me to grasp how we even have this weird dynamic that works for only so many hours. Once it’s done it’s over with and then we part until the next meeting.

I kinda don’t like it because its one of those things that come about when you’re placed in a situation that stems from the need of a particular item or life style, resulting you to take part in an activity.

None the less, it’s strange that these things just kind of come about but who am I to say what’s wrong and right when we all have the same misconception. Regardless, we wouldn’t even be able to understand it, not to mention the amount of time it would take.

What ever it is, I got to make some serious changes.

~ keep it all smiles

unauthorized

I have an issue.

I’ll go about it plain and simple with a whole lot of extra stuff because that’s how I be.

I want a girlfriend. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I feel lonely, but whatever. I just do. Now having a significant other has been a thought that’s been in my mind ever since I was young. I want to blame it on how we look at humanity and and this whole relationship thing but I really don’t know. The fact of the matter is, I think it’s a humanly thing and right now at the age of 24 thats what has been on my mind. Right now in life I just want to focus on my creativity and let that flourish but I feel like the “wanting” of a “lover” in my world is hindering me.

I cannot fully say that the thought is destroying me because I just turn around and make another song, but when I hear my music it’s all the same bullshit just told differently over beats. I got this weird ass feeling of settlement and wanting to have the rock next to me holding me up. When I stop and look at how I am towards others, I begin to question if I am even ready. Like I’m totally the guy who believes that everything happens for a reason, so I never really tell myself something isn’t going to happen because at the end of the day we don’t know.

Right now I got a crush on a girl though. Haven’t even tried to display the confidence in wanting to get to know her because I’m a wimp. I build up my thoughts and always let the shit crash when there’s nothing else left to be added. That’s what I’ve done at this point. My hopes are very high but for no reason. I bitch out when I want to say anything and the conversation dies. I….. I’m just a fearful human who lets his emotions control how he interacts with other humans.

 

no point in giving up though.

 

i got hit by a car in september and i’m still alive.

 

 

there is something here on earth for me to accomplish.

 

 

 

i must achieve.

 

ps. heine bros

 

pps. .. i need to get a life because seriously, i just skate, rap, and make beats.

 

~ keep it all smiles

Why You Have To Make Him Sweat It Out In The Friend Zone First (bish wut?)

Okay now its my turn.

I read this article all the way through and thought to myself, “Hey, the friend zone isn’t all what its made out to be.” I’ve never been friend zoned but the main point of this article is not about the friend zone. Its about building a standing relationship with someone.

Now the only problem that I had while reading this is that “We” the men are supposed to go out of are way and work our asses off to get to know the female. Yes this is true but the relationship will not work unless the opposite sex is doing the same too. So if I’m trying to figure out what kind of Chinese Food she likes, she needs to be learning whether or not I want the Soy Sauce on my rice or egg rolls.

Last but not least, I don’t like the name “Friend Zone.” I feel like females have turned that name into something guys don’t want to hear. I mean hell, when I see the friend zone I see the opposite of what exactly is supposed to happen. I see the female talking to every guy leading a bunch on and all this other nonsense. I think we should change the name to “We are Friends Right Now” or something.

The article of which I am writing about is down below for you to check out.

~ Keep it all smiles

_____________________________________________________

Time is the ultimate test.

Source: Why You Have To Make Him Sweat It Out In The Friend Zone First

the letter x

Today was the day you’re phone service got cut off. I went to school a whole week dreaming and fantasizing. Then Friday came and I got a text message. My reaction was stupid. Your intentions were ignorant. But I’ve been over it.
 
I’m just appalled by the fact that you sent a text message. Do you know what they shows of you as a human being? A pathetic piece of shit. Like seriously, you are a pathetic piece of shit. I never was depressed. I never shed a tear. I literally went into deep thought trying to figure out what the hell happened.
 
But its okay, I new we weren’t meant for each other. I knew from the snaps and the text. I knew from the few phone calls and the awkward outings.
 
Why does this bother me though? Because you didn’t have the guts to look me in the eyes and make that final connection. That final connection that would cut us off from one another.
 
This is why I sent those text a month after so I could get you to purposely hate me. I didn’t want you to like me nor do I want you to now. Not to mention you wanted to friend zone me.
 
So fuck you.
 
ps. That screen shot of that “Love Note” was delusional thinking. I never felt that way. NEVER. im being serious.

Life is Good, Good isn’t Life.

Remember a couple months ago when I made those deep, drawn out, sad, sappy blog post about my break up with my ex? That shit was real. I was messed up from that. I stopped skateboarding for an entire week. I LOVE TO SKATEBOARD!!! I was in terrible shape. Now…Things have changed. I feel better about everything and I am happy and content with life.

I did some really hard thinking about my past relationship and I honestly think that it just wasn’t for us. Yes I really did love her, deeply. But in the end and through all the bullshit, I feel like that wasn’t for us. I think there is someone else in this world of 7 billion people that will fit for us. I’m not gonna go on here and bash her or anything, yeah I feel like she did me wrong but I am glad she broke it off. I really just wanna remain good friends.

My life is good right now, I get to chill with my friends, talk and meet new people, explore the world and do what I feel like I want without worrying about someone worrying about me. I know that sounds bad but at this point in my life, I’m 20. I have a decade to find someone and explore the world. I’m not a man-whore so there won’t be no wiener going around. haha!

Well I’m off to make some deep philosophical post so stay tuned.

Sorry

The style and the grace of beauty has never come up

Rivers running over of  love but we don’t show up

The counters full of letters and the gifts we receive, taken for granted all the time the light has shown us brighter things

Invisibility is where I wanna be, holding back emotions and carelessness for the finer things

I’ve never seen such horror, never in my life, tear apart a page and read it twice just so you can say its twice

Even when the camera isn’t got you on the screen, tears fall from your eyes while you cry sitting behind the scenes

I know I’m awkward, my mind is in a different place, I know that I can fix it I love you and put you in first place

Trouble Man, that’s what I am, if you can role with me than you’re with Trouble Man

No time to waste we can go anywhere, Paris or France I don’t care as long as we’re there

My life’s a struggle, I’m moving at much a slower pace

Turtles pass me up and dust me while I’m in last place

But I can do it better then them other guys, balling like Mr. Gates rolling with them suicuides

Yes its choppy, clarity is nothing for it tho, Glass house broken into and all was stolen yo

If I don’t get it back then its all done, I will never give up, never Its all over and done

Now this the type of stuff that make ya wanna get up and tell the world that I love you while we talking on the phone

And this the type of stuff for me to apologize to you and try to fix it cus I’m weird mybad I’ve never done none of this before

I was scared of all the public so I ran from it

The world was all evil so I stood in front of it

I told it all to leave me and my lady alone, they need to watch the throne before I step and stub someones toe

I’m such an idiot why do I mess things up

The meal that I just had was bad so I threw it up

If everything was a lie then I should do or die, keep to my self so we talk, party and have a ball

Life is just a gift and so is love so cherish it like your family and never slip or fall

– Troubled Man