I’m trying to find the light but all the shades is down and sh**
My thoughts are on fire but my mind is just a ship.
Floating out in sea and drifts away when wind hits
Countless lives lost for god forsaken crippling bits
I’m confused on situations that require money and trust
But lust for even more that has my head pounding and all that stuff
Crying to my self just so I can see it wash it away
Its stays like a storm pouring down tons of rain
I wish I can be better but there’s nothing left to give
If I slit my wrist then friends will pop bottles, pour and piss
Tough enough for small endeavors, weak just to fall astray
Can’t hold on tight cus the tears of pain have soaked my hands with shame
My dark thoughts shadow down the beams of warm light, I’ve never seen God but I hope that God is nice
I’ll never say him or her or prefer God as an it, beliefs in mythical practice have made people jump ship
The large waves of death come and take over all, as humans fall we seek answers to life and all
Shocked by the arrogance of the young man, Pat took a deep breath and began typing a letter to whom he called his sweetheart at one time. Through what he thought was pain and suffering, turned into hate. His anger towards his misconception brought him to the decision of creating a letter of death threats and degrading thoughts without thinking of the outcome.
Hours later he revived a tearful call. The voice he heard made him tremble. A trickle of sweat ran down his face while he tried to keep his composure. With a crackly voice he began to explain his side of the story and tried to plead for mercy from who he only hours ago hated.
His attempt at redemption was shot down as for whom he was talking to did not care to listen. She was lost…couldn’t find the words to speak, she could not even forgive him. The awkward silence made him believe that she was done with him. As he said slowly said goodbye she stopped him and said…
“Your distrust in me is what you are seeing in yourself. What I mean by that is nothing, confusion is only left and the insanity brought to the table will only create a spin off of another resolution that has no problem.”
The jaw dropping words angered him
“You dumb cooze”
That was all that could be said by Pat who hung up and went outside for a smoke and a shot of whiskey.
(To be continued)