I sometimes wonder if she looks at the moon at night like I do.
As the clouds pass the moons light shines bright I wonder if she thinks the same thing.
~ keep it all smiles
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unauthorized
I have an issue.
I’ll go about it plain and simple with a whole lot of extra stuff because that’s how I be.
I want a girlfriend. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I feel lonely, but whatever. I just do. Now having a significant other has been a thought that’s been in my mind ever since I was young. I want to blame it on how we look at humanity and and this whole relationship thing but I really don’t know. The fact of the matter is, I think it’s a humanly thing and right now at the age of 24 thats what has been on my mind. Right now in life I just want to focus on my creativity and let that flourish but I feel like the “wanting” of a “lover” in my world is hindering me.
I cannot fully say that the thought is destroying me because I just turn around and make another song, but when I hear my music it’s all the same bullshit just told differently over beats. I got this weird ass feeling of settlement and wanting to have the rock next to me holding me up. When I stop and look at how I am towards others, I begin to question if I am even ready. Like I’m totally the guy who believes that everything happens for a reason, so I never really tell myself something isn’t going to happen because at the end of the day we don’t know.
Right now I got a crush on a girl though. Haven’t even tried to display the confidence in wanting to get to know her because I’m a wimp. I build up my thoughts and always let the shit crash when there’s nothing else left to be added. That’s what I’ve done at this point. My hopes are very high but for no reason. I bitch out when I want to say anything and the conversation dies. I….. I’m just a fearful human who lets his emotions control how he interacts with other humans.
no point in giving up though.
i got hit by a car in september and i’m still alive.
there is something here on earth for me to accomplish.
i must achieve.
ps. heine bros
pps. .. i need to get a life because seriously, i just skate, rap, and make beats.
~ keep it all smiles
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2018 & Im blogging again.
I’ve been silent for a while.
Not much has been floating around my mind to get me to hop on here and talk. I would typically voice my opinions on certain stuff and rant about life but as of late I just haven’t been feeling it.
I also have noticed that I start off all my blog post like this when I haven’t been much of an active blogger. It’s literally just a bunch of blah blah blah. But you know, guess that’s how life goes huh?
Anywho a lot of my time has been spent producing beats. In the beginning of 2016 I sat down behind my MacBook, downloaded the lite version of Ableton Live and began to make beats. After hours of YouTube videos I can finally say I’m a producer. I’m only declaring this because one of my beats made it onto an album that my friend is going to release. What’s crazy is that the beat is from my batch of what I call “Early Stages.” I remember the night like it was yesterday.
We were smoking weed in Matt’s garage, I grabbed the laptop and started playing shit I made. My boy Marc who was hanging out that day instantly started to vibe and the rest is history. Since then I think my beats have gotten better, I judge that perception based on what my friends think and if their heads or nodding.
It’s just the beginning though, I’ll forever be a student of music.
~ keep it all smiles
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fuck everything
Fuck everything
Fuck all that I have brought to myself
Fuck everything
Fuck all of the problems I create to detest myself
Fuck everything
Fuck the purpose of this note that I’m making
Fuck everything
Fuck the the science behind this madness I’m the saddest
Fuck everything
Fuck the people who deem me as a push over
Fuck everything
Fuck my silence because it’s what’s kept me quiet when the lady is over
Fuck everything
Fuck the faces that I see that care not to look at me
Fuck everything
I’ve dreamt of death but scared to face it but ask for ends when the begining is basic
Fuck everything
Fuck the fact that I can’t do right when in plain sight
Fuck everything
Fuck the fact that I cant speak my mind and start a conversion with a beautiful woman in mind
Fuck everything
Fuck these emotions although it’s guidence pleading to riot
Fucking everything
Fuck my life I said it right but no I shall stay strong and win the fightFUCK EVERYTHING
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Welcome to The Future
My life is just so weird. These past few months have been strange. See before I used to live life where I was more concerned about the past few weeks and kept moving forward without looking back. But now in recent time (sorry im high) I’ve begun to look over these periods in months and see a shift in me still not being shit.
I can’t think like this forever though, I mean who’s to say that tomorrow might be that day I my music is heard by the right people? Who’s to say that my edit on instagram won’t get me a skateboard sponsor. Do you see what I’m chasing after? Literally dreams. Dreams that for some reason within me seem so unrealistic that I don’t want it. But the problem is that at the same time I can envision in great detail that fortune will come. I can’t just go blindly though, for I must focus and build an empire of which will continue to feed the next generations.
My friends just don’t call me Afro or Afrodamus to be just saying this. I mean the whole goal is to climb the mental construct that we have created that runs the world and achieve the dreams, goals, and ambitions of a much brighter future. A future that I feel will give me the opportunity to create more and open minds, for the ones who see no more than what they choose to perceive.
I think its time to change the channel.
~ keep it all smiles
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Stick to it and just do it
I can never really stick with anything, kind of like this blog. I told myself that I would hop on here daily or at least monthly and make a post but it seems to have not happened. As of recent I spend my days on tumblr reblogging random shit that I find scrolling up on my timeline.
What a way to enjoy life eh?
So as an attempt to get away from the comforts of my room, I made a trip to Heine Brothers, the coffee shop where I just so happen to make cool ass memories at. The sun is setting and my coffee is scalding hot. Might I mention that it’s 82 outside? I was out skating earlier but my skate session was cut short due to some guy who works in one of the buildings at this business complex came out to practice his golf swing. The last time I was skating in that area I think I may have pissed him off by the popping off my loud board as I flipped my deck to land some gnarly shit. Anywho, in respect I left because I’m pretty sure he had a long day at work and just wanted to swing his golf club in silence.
Besides the shenanigans of my everyday life, I just dropped a new single on Soundcloud. You should check it out.
I’m signing off for now, my brain is drawing a blank.
~ Keep it all smiles
exploding rock™ 