Changes

You need to make a major change in your life. Do you make it all at once, cold turkey style, or incrementally? 

At this stage in my life I need to make a major change but procrastination has hit me hard and has not let me do anything. My lack of responsibility is hurting me and the only way I can get out of this comfort zone I’m in is to just go forward and do it. They way I’m taking on this this major change is in small increments. I should really just do it all at once and force myself to do it but the way my head is programmed right now I just can’t do it. Its really hard to get changed in my life, if someone close passed away I would be stricken and would be in a depression for quite sometime. If I work hard now and try to over come procrastination and my lack of change than things that come in life wouldn’t effect me in a terrible way.

Right now in the position that I am in, the major change that I need to do is get my school stuff figured out so I can go back to school. I failed 2 classes and I’m on financial hold until I can fix my fafsa and some other stuff. At first I was like oh crap, let me get this stuff out of the way, but now I’m just slacking and sitting on my ass doing nothing but blogging about life adventures. It sucks bad, i really need to get up and do something…

(I’m going to stop here because writing about major change that I need to do right now is not helping. I need to get up, get out and do something)

Advertisements

Illuminate

Forever getting pushed aside

I Never knew why

But when I get back take the mac squeezed back and laid suckas on they side

No lie, confident, maybe conceited with the thoughts of me dying inside

Getting this together, good or bad weather, still I’m keeping it fly

If you wanna do or die, end up on the ride, to the yard, grave yard you will lye

Despicable thoughts, feeling I fought, taking down Goliath and the big Hulk

So raw, no red meat just flesh to fresh air that’ll make it thaw

In my head I draw, making these words go together like puzzle pieces, theres like 100 dawg

But it really doesn’t matter, I’m keeping things tight like leather on a braud who got 5 dogs

Taking them for a walk, stuck up white folk, in the hood where they hire people to cut the lawn

I‘ve witnessed it all, never like this do I get upset about dumb shit

But I gotta give it to ya straight, taken them curves like the gays mybad but ayeee

That’s their prerogative, go ahead let them do what they do

If you live in my world, people will die even if they jackin for some food

Yessir I’m crazy, but it don’t matter call myself a fuckin genius

I‘m not sorry that I curse, what can be worse, a nigga pull triggers sending people to a plot in a hearse?!

We can take it right there, buts its unfair, I’m gonna stop now before feelings get hurt!

– Milly

Astray

I’m trying to find the light but all the shades is down and sh**

My thoughts are on fire but my mind is just a ship.

Floating out in sea and drifts away when wind hits

Countless lives lost for god forsaken crippling bits

I’m confused on situations that require money and trust

But lust for even more that has my head pounding and all that stuff

Crying to my self just so I can see it wash it away

Its stays like a storm pouring down tons of rain

I wish I can be better but there’s nothing left to give

If I slit my wrist then friends will pop bottles, pour and piss

Tough enough for small endeavors, weak just to fall astray

Can’t hold on tight cus the tears of pain have soaked my hands with shame

My dark thoughts shadow down the beams of warm light, I’ve never seen God but I hope that God is nice

I’ll never say him or her or prefer God as an it, beliefs in mythical practice have made people jump ship

The large waves of death come and take over all, as humans fall we seek answers to life and all

Life Stories Pt. 1

I recently just got down reading my post about how I just graduated from high school and it brought back good memories and the day I graduated. I never thought that I would actually miss it but deep down in the darkest place of my heart I do. This isn’t something that you can just push away because it isn’t going any way. Its a story that will be stuck with me for life.

With that being said I would like to announce that I am starting a series called Life Stories. I know I said in my The Begining of The End post that I was going to start a series called The Real World Series but Life Stories sounds way cooler and I think it would fit my life much better. WE all know that this life is the real world but we all don’t seem to know or see the life stories that go on it.

This series will include big moments in my life, my high school graduation is the first to the series but there will be more big events that come my way. I know there will be my big breaks and downfalls but its life and that’s what happens. Whether its happiness or misery it will all be here for you to read. I just want to share it all, the trials and tribulations, the broken bones and the broken skateboards.

Its all coming, See ya!

The Year 2013

Well hello my friends. We have made it into the new year and everyone managed to stay alive. Ins’t that great? I mean look how far w have come, its crazy to see everyone growing up so fast and having kids! Now half of you people re thinking, isn’t this guy only 19? Whats his friends doing having kids? Well to start off I just know a few people that I have graduated with that have recently had a child and I am proud of them. At least it wasn’t while they was still in school. Second of all I’m still amazed by the fact that they have kids and there real world live are already starting. Either way its there choice and if thats what makes them happy then let it be.

Now that I got that randoms stuff out the way I just wanna start off by saying that 2013 is about to be the next big thing since 2012. Technology is changing and so is people. Life in my eye sight is moving extraordinarily fast! I’m pretty sure its like that for every 19 yr old freshman trying to work a part time job and go to school. Life is rough for us! lol! But things are getting way advanced and a lot of new stuff has caught my attention like the tablets flooding the market and the new thin laptops such as the ultrabooks and chromebooks. I remember as a child I would envision having all sorts of cool technological devices and now here I am in the tablet era getting mind boggled by all the new stuff. Like lets take a look at Android, there OS is being used for tons of stuff…well from my knowledge just for consoles…well gaming period. But the point I’m trying to get across is that not too long ago phones were like bricks and now we have the new iPad mini that weighs like paper. Crazy huh?

With technology so advanced and hi tech the thought of robots also intrigue me. With new technological advancements like this dropping in 2013 you don’t know when you’ll see the terminator knocking on your door talking about how he’s going to repo your car in 3 weeks if you don’t make your last payment. It probably wont happen but the thought is hysterical.

I’m beginning to sound a little off track, my whole focus was on 2013 but now I’ve gone on to talk about computers and other nerdy stuff that my stupid friends won’t understand. Maybe that’s a sign? It most likely isn’t but if it was, I’d be Eisenstein.

Okay so I’m rambling on, I know, but this is my blog. I only made this post so I can wish everyone a happy new year but its like 2 weeks in and it wouldn’t matter. So I thought I’d tell a story about how this is gonna be a crazy year but that didn’t work. So to end this very disappointing post I want to leave you with a bit of knowledge.

“Aliens helped build the pyramids”

The end.

I just wanna be me

Its that time again where the temperature is dropping and love is filling the air and causing rapid changes in human psychology. Kind thoughts drift and float through the breeze as people apply for seasonal jobs trying to get an extra pay check so they can buy something good for there kids this Christmas. Its a wonderful time and yet people like myself is dreading the fact that the year is almost over and we all have to start over again…I mean I have to start over again.

For example, last year my resolution was to get better at skateboarding…get sponsored…and something else. I can’t quite remember right now but I fulfilled all of them except for become a better magician but I’ll get that later this month or start first of next year.

Other than that Its time for me to make new goals to fulfill and become a better person inside an out. It’ll be a hard task but to succeed and make my dreams come true I gotta do what I got to do. You can’t let anything or anyone stop you. I’m going to keep working and keep pushing myself so I can live the life I wanna live, not live someones else’s life and be in there shadow. I’m not here to fight anyone’s battles or to impress anyone, just be me.

This is a short post and I need to get back on my blogging game, so expect a few more this week.

HOLLA!

The Real World

So for the “people” who keep up with this on going blog, you should know that yes I graduated from High School back in May. I am now attending JCTC (Jefferson Community Technical College). The degree i chose is Graphic Design.

Its been a bitch trying to get into school, I’ve been procrastinating and putting things off…now that I got most of it out of the way the college life isn’t that bad. I’ve met some cool people and plus now that I am working nights at UPS (I meant to blog about that) its been pretty chill. I thought the “Real World” would be a complicated mess…and it has but it wasn’t like what I was expecting.

I mean its hard but I just push through each day like nothing is happening. I still skate, Still got a girlfriend and have been able to do what I want and how I like it. This is just the beginning, I still got a ways to go to really see what this is all about. For now, this is the start of my long and drawn out Story.

The Beginning of the End

Well its official, I am now a High school graduate of Southern High School. The class of 2012 is the 61’st class to graduate under our new principle Mr. Hibbert. Its been a long 4 years…but a long 12, 13 if ya’ throw in head start. It feels like I have been in school forever. Basically my whole life, but now…now I’m a free man about to do my thing in life.

I still remember the first day of school when my dad walked me in and showed me to the teachers. I started to cry when he walked away. I still remember the first day of middle school, my neighbor “Yari” and I walked in and approached our asshole of a math teacher asking if this is the right team. I also still remember the first day of high school, my homie Dakotah and I rolled up in Southern amazed by all of the other students trying to make our way through the crowded halls. It feels like this all happened yesterday but now look at me, all grown and out of school.

I’m still stunned that I even got to this point just for the simple fact that I cruised my whole senior year just sitting in class writing random crap and get good grades. I had a slight feeling I wasn’t gonna make it but I pulled through last minute and got my sh*t together. Now here I am with a diploma with my name on it and a cap and gown hanging up in my room. What a wonderful feeling that is.

Now that I am done with my free education, its time to move on up to my post secondary education and get my move on in life. I’m still going to skate, draw, and do all the other crap I enjoy doing in life and hope for the best.

To end this post I would like to quote a favorite hip-hop artist of mine.

“They say that life is what you make it, so what you been creating on yo’ free time” – Big K.R.I.T.

This ends my May Post…Check out what I got going on in the next few weeks. I’m gonna get a “Real World” series going. Holla!

PS. Shout out the Class of 2012!

FML Series.

So for the next couple days I will be sharing with you the trials and tribulations that I am going through in my miserable life right now.

Why do I say it is miserable?

Because for the last month I have had to deal with stress from my Family and a whole lotta other crap…

Instead of keeping this stuff all balled up inside until I explode with hatred, I’m gonna try and share my story on my lil ol’ blog. What am I expecting from this? Nothing…I don’t care who reads it. I just know that who ever I KNOW that reads it and they happen to be mentioned ….. will be pissed. But I don’t give a fuck anymore…fuck you.

So stay tuned folks and and come back tomorrow or something…I might have Pt. 1 posted.

-Wisdom Spoken By an Angry Black Man.

The Issue

So latley a lot has been going through my head that I seemed to have killed away and have thrown away in my virtual memory trash can. All yesterday I was trippen so bad, later on when I got to the crib and did a little snoopin everything dropped and like I said, it just fatally died. It wasnt really nothing, I just made it seem like a big deal in my head and from a few influences around me, I had this little vision going on that kept replaying over and over agin in my head until I couldn’t take it anymore. What did I do you may ask? Nothing of course becasue once it came to that point I pushed it out of sight and thought about what really mattered and why I am in the predicament I am in today.

People call me a lot of stuff but as Mr. Gary always said to the crazy white girl on the bus “I got thick skin, nothing really gets through to me”. I never really care about what the other low down, got no life, broke as a joke, still living with mama idiots got to say because I keep on reasurring my self that I will be better then them and do bigger and better things then work at Rally’s for the rest of my life in the drive thru lane. They do make me mad at times to the point of me thinking about bashing their hallow heads into a brick wall until it breaks. I haven’t gotten to that point yet so don’t push me.

Its times like that when I look around for a certain someone other then my buddies to go talk to and chill with. It sounds a bit better and a lot more normal. I see it as also companionship and trust, that person always being there for you no matter what.

Seeing me though, I may look like your average nerd wearing the small clothes and not talking to no one. Well you got me all fu** up. Even though you can be someone else but don’t show it dosent mean your that person which I want to be, but that problem that is lurking around the corner striking fear into me always comes to end my shot.

I’ve put lots of thought into it, I dug through all my drafts to pull this one out to finish up what I have been thinking. Something is different now becasue I found a new path of where I can meet up with em. Just by having a simple conversation about pop culture led me to the route which I plan on taking and utilizing from now on. Maybe there is still a chance for me….maybe. I got the rest of the year, time to take action I thought. Although it did make me happy to see the smiling face, at least that is what I in visioned but eh, its ok to dream right? I know I’m a confusing person who can talk as deep as Huey Freeman but I’m a person on a search with no map and no help but my self.

Its just me.